Snow Day!!!

Smores...

Ok... so... I have never had smores. Not that I can remember anyway. It seems like every child should have had smores around the campfire (I've certainly been around a few of those), but I couldn't remember eating them.

Therefore, yesterday I stopped at my neighborhood Kroger's and picked up all the smore essentials (and some pickles... but that's really a pregnant thing and nothing to do with smore making). I waited for the sun to go down and the cold air to come through. Husband made me a handy little marshmallow roaster out of a stick and I was good to go.

My first few marshmallows caught fire and were therefore deemed unfit for smore use. When I finally toasted one to perfection, I placed it on the chocolate and graham cracker and took a big bite....

My expectations were much higher. Maybe it's one of those weird pregnancy things where things don't taste like they should, maybe it was the wood we were using in the fire... either way, I was not impressed by the smore phenomenon and I'm a little baffled at it's longevity.

Maybe I'll try again later, with different wood and different chocolate. My roommate says that the Hershey's Cookies and Cream candy bar is the way to go. I certainly have enough marshmallows left over to try.

Cute as a pencil troll???

First of all, I would like to say that whatever JACKASS decided to tell pregnant women that the nasuea goes away after twelve weeks, should be shot in the foot!

On to my story....

Last night I was laying on the couch watching Law and Order:SVU and feeling horribly sick.

My loving husband was outside in the garage, playing with friends, drinking beer and arguing about politics. He came in to refresh his beverage and our conversation went something like this:

Husband: Oh dearest wife, is my child in your belly making you sick again?

Me: What do you think?

H: I'm sorry you're sick.

M: I know.

H: If it helps at all, you are very cute lying there.

M: Really? (insert kiss) You are so good to me.

H: Yep, you're as cute as a pencil troll. (He says smiling).

M: Excuse you? Did you just say I was "cute as a pencil troll"?

H: You know, the little trolls on the end of a pencil.

M: I know what they are. The ones with the crazy hair and the big noses. Thanks a lot!

H: Not the hair part, just the cute little face. You have a cute little face.

M: Thanks. You've done enough to cheer me up, please go back outside now.

I went to bed shortly after that (didn't stay asleep thanks to the baby). When I woke up this morning, there was my darling husband. Sleeping peacefully beside me. As he woke up, he saw me laying there awake and gave me a little kiss.

Husband: Good morning, beautiful.

Me: Good morning, pencil troll.

What do think? Look like me?

Happy (Late) Halloween

Roof, Roof! Check out the doggie!

Birthday gifts

As I posted before, Friday was my birthday. I received lovely cards from my sister, mother and grandmother. I also had gifts waiting for me when I got home from work.

From husband-
The flowers also came with the final season of Will and Grace on DVD.

From the girls-
They gave me a stand mixer that I've been eying. You can picture the mixer, but the card was priceless.

Halloween = Slut Fest???

OK, can I ask... when did Halloween become a slut fest? I realize it's not an entirely new thing, because in college the sorority girls had quite the slut-atious outfits for Halloween.

Saturday we went to Hooters (yes, I know the girls there always dress slutty) to watch the Ultimate Fighting Championship fight. Apparently, it was also Halloween night. Some of the waitresses were literally wearing bras and panties with a set of wings and calling themselves Victoria Secret Angels. I can assure you, most of them were not.

Our waitress was not the sluttiest one there (that honor went to the Raggedy Ann doll with both her butt and her breast hanging out). She was dressed as Candy Corn... Slutty Candy Corn. This is the best picture I could find of Candy Corn-
Only, her skirt was a bit shorter and she didn't have the black corset. Just skirt and candy corn bra.

On a much more interesting note--- Raggedy Ann and the VS Angel were involved in some sort of altercation. I went to the bathroom and in the handicap stall next to me the VS Angel and the Slutty Solider were talking. VS Angel was crying and Slutty solider was saying, "Don't let her bring you down. Tonight is supposed to be fun. You are so much better than her. You're an Angel!" *seriously, she said that*

I had no idea who she was fighting with. I went back to my table to tell my friend about the waitress fight (since UFC fighting isn't really my thing). All of a sudden Raggedy Ann comes flying around the corner and we can see her and VS Angel arguing next to the bar. The manager pulled all three girls into some back room (where the "bad" girls are sent). The Solider came out within a minute or two (guess the fight wasn't about her). Nearly twenty minutes later we saw the VS Angel come out. Her face was red and you could tell she had been crying. Here's the best/funny/weird/scary part... WE NEVER SAW RAGGEDY ANN AGAIN!!! In my own head, I have developed a story about what happened to her, but I'm sure the truth is much less interesting.

Friday's Five Things

In preparation for my birthday weekend, here are my latest five favorite things!

1. Caramel Apple Spice from Starbucks (remember those caramel suckers with the green apple coating??? That's what this drink taste like. And today, I got mine free!)

2. Sabe! Happy First Birthday little man!

3. My husband. He builds me tables and benches and installs molding and hardwood floors.

4. Vegetable soup. I've been fighting a horrific cold all week and last night I made some veggie soup and felt a little better.

5. Grey's Anatomy. Loving Alex and Izzy. SO much better than George and Izzy!

Happy Birthday to ME!!!!!

Today is officially my birthday. It's also Sabe's birthday, but he is too young to realize, so today we are just celebrating me!

Big thanks to John at Starbucks. I told him it was my birthday and I got a FREE Caramel Apple Spice (it taste like Christmas!).

It's (almost) my birthday!

Tomorrow is my birthday. It's my golden birthday. My husband, being the loving man that he is, sat down and asked me what I would like for my special day.

Husband: Wife of mine, what would you cherish the most on your special day?

Me: I don't know.

H: A belt sander?

M: Not so much.

H: A jigsaw?

M: Not even a little bit.

H: A router?

M: Do we have any Tylenol?

At this point in the conversation I take two Tylenol PM and fall asleep by 7:00 p.m. Is it fair to ask a woman drunk on Tylenol PM what she wants for her birthday?

I wonder what tomorrow's gift bag will bring???

Giving up the Dream (House)

So, I have a dilemma. I have always dreamed of my house. The house that I would build when I grew-up. I can picture my perfect bathroom and shiny kitchen. The hardwood floors, the fireplace and the laundry room. Now that I have grown up a little, I see that building a dream house isn't in the cards for everyone.

My father would like us to buy his house. It's a perfectly nice house. Built less than 10 years ago. I even had some input in the design. While it's perfectly nice, it's not the house that I would build. No double sinks in the master bath, no pot filler in the kitchen and hardly what I would call an ideal laundry room.

It's a great price and it's next door to my siblings where I want to be. I guess the question is: Is the convenience of an all-ready built perfectly nice house worth giving up the dream of the dream house???

More on that to come...

Damn you TiFaux!

Last week I set off on another round of travels. I packed my bags (had I known about the new $50 baggage fee from DELTA Airlines, I would have packed only one big bag), set my DVR, kissed my husband and headed off to Chicago.

Chicago is a great city. It's really clean and shiny. I walked the Navy Pier, saw Oprah's house and shopped the Magnificent Mile. It was all fun and great but I was looking forward to returning home Sunday night and catching up on my shows.

That's when IT happened. I returned home to find that my DVR had not recorded anything from Tuesday night to Saturday morning!!!!! Oh DVR, how can you do this to me? No Project Runway (the season finale, mind you), no Pushing Daises, Ugly Betty or Grey's Anatonmy????

Lucky for me ABC.com lets you watch epsiodes of your fave shows for free. As far as Project Runway, I guess Nev's blog will have to do.

Happy Birthday Papa!

Today is my dad's birthday. I was a good daughter and called him to wish him a happy birthday... he is sick and not in the mood to talk.

Oh well! Happy Birthday Pops! I'm playing "The Cowboy Song" for you!

Well, that was windy...

Ok, so Hurricane Ike was no fun at all. He both ruined my vacation and my evacuation. I lost the last couple days of vacation due having to leave. Then I spent the first couple days of my evacuation getting drunk on red wine, thinking about the ten feet of water that was in my house.

While I am still on the North 40 (one good thing about evacuating) , a good friend of ours was able to make it to our house and confirm that it is still there and NOT filled with water. I guess I drank all that wine for nothing...

Because the Internet is not the fastest here, don't count on many post until I can return back to normal life.

Off to feed the gators...

Friday's Five Things

Ok- I know I said that I was going on vacation today, but that doesn't start until after 5 p.m. Anywho, I'm having a pretty good day so far (at 8:43 a.m. there hasn't been much time for things to go terribly wrong), and I thought I would jot down my current "Five Things to be Thankful For"

1. In a few short hours I get to see Mom, Layla, Sabe, Romey, Hanna, Ryan, and Lady.

2. I found my dream job... now if they would only hire me...

3. SPF 70

4. OPI "i'm not really a waitress" nail polish

5. Forks, because really, they make eating so much easier

That's all bitches. Have a great week, a great week next week and I'll be back around the 15th... because I know that so many loyal readers will miss me ;)

Inspirational crap to get you through the week

I am going on a much needed vacation tomorrow. In my absence, please enjoy this lovely little ditty:

This was written by Regina Brett of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

'To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It's the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 90 in August, so here goes:'

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. Use the good living room.

22. Over-prepare then, go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years time, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone, everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Not so "wordless" Wednesday

Ok, I really enjoy the whole "wordless Wednesday" thing. The pictures, the clown noses, all very nice.

However, today I'm a little aggravated. In an effort not to drive Husband crazy with my craziness, I'm attempting to un-load my Big Book of Grievances here.

Chapter One: Things that piss me off more than they should.

*People who don't give you a courtesy wave when you let them in front of you in traffic

*Wal-Mart cashiers who feel the need to comment on every item you purchase (she picked up a dog toy and said, "How cute. Did you get that here?... no dumbass, I picked it up at Target, but decided to pay for it here...

*Slow people at the salad barn. HOLY CRAP IT'S NOT A DECORATING CONTEST!!!

*People who make promises they can't possibly keep

*People who ask, "What on earth did you do to your hair?"- Ouiser-Boudreax-style. Ok, so it was blonde and now it's brown... GET OVER IT!

*People who slow down to look at a wreck on the other side of the freeway. THAT'S HOW ACCIDENTS HAPPEN YOU MORRON!!!


Whew, I feel better.

Fun (Tuesday) Monday

Sorry, gang. Due to sheltering Hurricane Gustav evacuees, I'm not able to play Fun Monday this week.

Hope you are all safe from wind and rain.

Papa's Petite Bijoux Noir

Husband has decided on a name for the new puppy. Keeping in line with our Cajun French heritage, he has named puppy "Papa's Petite Bijoux Noir" of Daddy's Little Black Jewel. We are calling her Bijoux. Here are a few pictures of her:

Wordless Wednesday: How to eat bannan pudding

Baby makes five...

We have a dog. No, we have ANOTHER dog. After weeks of back a forth "discussions" about getting a third dog (and becoming those people), our night started off like this-

me: I REALLLLY don't want another dog.

husband: I REALLLLLLY want another dog.

me: Let's have a baby instead!

husband: I REALLLLLYYY want a dog.

me: I don't want another dog.

husband: I think I want a dog more than you don't want a dog...

And so, we have ANOTHER dog. That makes three. One outside and two inside. Try to keep up.

Within minutes, my husband magically found a woman with a dog. We jump in the car (at 9 p.m. mind you) and head to Conroe, make that NORTH of Conroe. The first thing I notice when we get in the car is that the time is 9:11 p.m.

I'm not a believer in signs, but that can't be a good one.

9:35 p.m. Check engine light, VSC, and a slew of other lights all come on.

9:45 p.m. I-45 is closed, due to construction.

Am I the only one who thinks these are all bad signs???

9:50- 10:22 Argue about dog names. I like Maxine. We can call her Max. Husband wants to wait for a "sign"--- clearly mocking me.

10:23 p.m. Exit off Interstate onto the creepiest street I have ever driven on. There are NO LIGHTS out there. None. Not one street light, porch light, headlight. It's eerie. Seems like the first two minutes of Law and Order:SVU to me.

10:30 p.m. We find a driveway that appears to have the address we are looking for, but no house. I tell husband to call Dog Lady and get some directions. She instructs us to, "Keep going down the dirt road 'till you can't go any longer. You'll see a cell phone tower on the left and we are JUST PAST THE GRAVEYARD on the right".

Seriously? I can't think of any worse signs if I tried.

We arrive at Dog Lady's house.

husband: Hello, I'm husband, nice to meet you.

dog lady: Hi. I'm Maxine. (Sign.)

We pick a little black female and make the long drive back home. We are taking suggestions for a name. Husband wants something French.

I firmly believe that all "signs" point to Maxine.

Beatin the heat...

Here in Texas, it's not uncommon for temperatures to rise above 100 degrees. To beat this heat, my darling husband purchased and assembled a little backyard oasis for me. However, Reba refuses to give up the good float...

Five Things

So, my week has been rough. With the David women setting up camp at Lourdes Hospital and work driving me insane, I'm in serious need of a cocktail hour. Since that doesn't look likely today, I'm forcing myself to play the "Five Things to be Thankful For" game. And here we go...

1. My Mom. She wonderful and silly and has completely changed the days of the week to suit her routine. (Monday, Tuesday, Sabeday, Thursday, Friday, Sabeday, Sunday)

2. Now and Laters.

3. Indigo Joe's. Our gangs newest favorite lunch spot.

4. Reba, because she is always happy to see me.

5. Tide pens. Because spilling coffee on your white shirt first thing in the morning can really put a damper on the rest of your day if you don't have one.

That wasn't so hard...

Zandra with a Z

Anyone who watches Will and Grace, knows that Jack takes acting lessons from a woman named Zandra. Who he famously referees to as "Zandra with Z, not Saundra with an S. Because Zandra with a Z goes zzzz not ssss.



Today I had a meeting with a lady named Zandra (with a Z). Needless to say, I didn't listen to much of what she said because I was playing Will and Grace in my head.

Wordless Wednesday

Sabe... no longer in boots.

Many things have happen during my lack of posting, for starters Sabe is no longer in boots, and is getting bigger by the minute. See what I mean...

Long Time Gone

So, up until today, I had forgotten about my ill-planned blogging venture. As evident, I haven't posted since December of last year. I'll attempt to make the effort and update more often, but that's a promise that might be easy to break.

Until next time, check out Nev's awesome Project Run(A)Way blog (link posted to the left) for some hilarious takes on one of my favorite shows.